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Lazy Wife Lifestyle: When the Overfilled Hamper Becomes Home Decor

by victoriavadenking
0 comment 17 minutes read
lazy wife

Welcome to my life, where laundry doesn’t end in the wash-dry-fold cycle.

Instead, it’s a never-ending journey of rinse, forget, and repeat.

Yes, my life is a perpetual cyclone, with heaps of clothes awaiting their turn to twirl in my washing machine…

Only to be washed again because I forgot to move them to the dryer.

Does it make me a lazy wife?

Does it make me an unorganized mom?

If your answer is yes, then let’s reframe those words to be something positive, shall we?

I am a ‘pro at prolonging laundry’ wife, an ‘expert in textile rinse repeat’ mom.

And guess what?

I’m not changing it.

This post is all about life as a lazy wife.

huge pile of clothes and toys on the floor as Victoria Vaden, lazy wife and husband fold together with daughter, baby girl and small dog

My Slow Dance with Household Chores

Life has handed me a cocktail of challenges: orthostatic hypotension, two head injuries, Attention Deficit Disorder, and short-term memory loss, turning simple chores into herculean tasks.

But guess what again? It’s still okay!

My laundry routine (or lack thereof) is my normal, and it’s high time we normalize our individual normals, no matter how chaotic they may seem.

Just because I wash the same load of laundry thrice doesn’t mean I am less of a mom.

In fact, it means I am more human.

It means I understand that it’s okay to forget.

It’s okay to make mistakes.

And it’s okay to have a hamper perpetually filled with clothes.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not the state of my laundry that defines my worth as a mother; it’s the state of my kids’ happiness and health.

messy closet with clothes on the floor of a lazy wife

When Mr. Sort-of-Clean Marries Mrs. Not-so-Clean

While my beloved husband is no Mr. Clean, he does manage to be a touch tidier than I am.

We had a brief trial run living together while dating (for all of a week before he got his first house) and let’s just say, he knew what he was signing up for.

In our premarital counseling, I made my stand quite clear and said, “I am not doing dishes.”

As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t grow up doing chores, so please forgive me if my initiation into the Cinderella duties of housekeeping took a bit longer than expected.

I never dreamt of being a housewife.

A married mom of three, absolutely, but not a housewife.

I had aspirations of conquering the corporate ladder until I decided I was done being treated like a doormat at numerous 9-5 jobs.

Since then, I’ve been happily self-employed for the past six years.

Victoria Vaden, lazy wife, and family smiling

Messy House, Happy Spouse

Society is a harsh critic, right?

Women who aren’t clean queens or domestic goddesses get the side-eye like they’re part of a secret club of laziness.

It’s as if there’s a tattoo on their forehead saying, “Shame, she can’t even fold a fitted sheet properly.”

But seriously, who can?

Statistically, household chore disparity is a significant factor in many divorces.

A 2016 study by Harvard Business School found that couples who share household chores have a lower divorce rate.

This makes sense: when the load is equally shared, it leads to less resentment and tension, and ultimately a healthier relationship.

Yet, there are spouses, like my husband, who view us not as a “lazy wife” or “unorganized mom,” but rather as a wife navigating through the turbulent waters of life.

He saw past my ‘lack of Cinderella skills’ and didn’t dismiss me as a lazy wife.

Instead, my husband saw his wife trying to keep all the balls in the air (and occasionally dropping one…or five).

He took up the slack when life threw curveballs my way, loving me even harder during those wipeouts.

Lazy Wife, Victoria Vaden seated between her three smiling children

Being a ‘Lazy Wife’ Made Me a Better Mom

Our story hasn’t been a walk in the park.

With him working 60-hour weeks, I experienced a rollercoaster of job losses, the start of our journey felt more like an obstacle course.

As we transitioned from dating to being newlyweds with a newborn, I was essentially forced to become a stay-at-home mom.

Fast-forward through the joys of an expanding family, my battles with postpartum depression, losing my grandmother, grandfather, and my own father, and not to mention a pesky little thing called a global pandemic.

You’d think my husband and I would have reached our breaking point — like so many marriages that began and ended during the pandemic.

But here we are, still standing, still loving each other.

So, for the critics who brand anyone as a “lazy wife,” take a step back (take several actually).

There’s more to our stories than dishes in the sink and laundry that’s seen the inside of the washer more times than we care to admit.

Amid all the ups and downs, my kids are thriving, my marriage is solid, and self-care is my new best friend.

I mean really, who cares if my nails are chipped and my home is less Martha Stewart and more “real-life Pinterest fails”?

orange tied bag of FOLDS laundry, laundry delivery service with packaged clean clothes inside

The Spin Cycle of the Never-Empty Hamper

Now let me be clear: every day, I’m improving.

I’m miles ahead of where I was when I hit my lowest points, occurrences that happened more often than I’d like to recall.


Oh, that was a task I gladly handed off to a laundry service, an external helping hand that drastically lightened my load around the house (and for that, I’m eternally grateful).

And now, even though I’m tidier than I’ve been in years, as I type this, I’m knee-deep in laundry duty.

It’s 2:20 am, and I’m on my fourth load for the day because, guess what, laundry has a funny way of creeping up on you.

So, while I wash, I write — proving that even at this ungodly hour, motherhood – and laundry – never really stops.

lazy wife pile of laundry clothes

Learning To Love The Laundry Pile

We live in a world where society expects us moms to be on 25/7.

We’re criticized if we don’t perfectly manage our homes while keeping a smile on our faces.

It’s easy to feel stressed and overwhelmed.

But here’s a secret: we aren’t in a competition to be the fastest laundry folder.

We’re on a journey of nurturing, teaching, and loving our little ones.

Yes, I might take longer to unpack a suitcase after vacation (four months, to be precise).

And I might forget to put away the dishes until they’ve piled up.

I may even leave a mess here and there in the house because I refuse to let stress rule my life.

And through it all, I remember to smile, to embrace, and to love – both myself and my family.

Being a lazy wife and mom isn’t a flaw.

It’s a work-in-progress that tells the world that we refuse to fit into predefined boxes of perfection.

It’s a reality that every woman goes through at some point whether it be marital conflict, grief, pregnancy, postpartum, job loss, moving to a new state, the list goes on.

It’s a badge that signifies we prioritize our children’s laughter over folded laundry, their curious explorations over a clean floor, and their moments of learning and growth over a spotless house.

Victoria Vaden, lazy wife, and family smiling

This post was all about life as a lazy wife.

So, fellow lazy wife reading this post, let’s celebrate our unique journeys.

Let’s laugh at the face of an overflowing laundry basket and welcome our laundry saga with open arms.

Because in the grand scheme of things, a forgotten load of laundry is merely a tiny, forgettable speck.

You, the mom who feels overwhelmed by the unending cycle of chores, I see you.

I am you.

You’re not alone, and you’re doing an amazing job.

So let’s continue navigating this beautifully messy journey together, one laundry cycle at a time.

Follow me on Instagram for more stories of laundry triumphs, housekeeping adventures, and real-life MOMents.

Because at the end of the day, we aren’t just mothers.

We are warriors, champions, and heroes to our little ones, navigating through life, one load of laundry at a time.

Remember, being a mom isn’t about perfection.

It’s about unconditional love and unforgettable memories.

Keep on keeping on, you amazing unorganized moms!

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victoria vaden

a diaper duties mom blog


victoria vaden king

Victoria Vaden

Original YouTuber when ‘viral’ was just a flu symptom. My English degree qualified me to tell stories (the good kind). So, I'm sharing the not-so-normal reality of motherhood and marriage.

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DYEM is for the not-so-perfect, spit-up-stained, smile-through-anything moms out there looking for sanity. Motherhood is messy and full of mistakes. You'll find plenty of that here.

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