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A Love Letter to the Unorganized, Lazy Mom of Spilled Milk

by victoriavadenking
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unorganized lazy mom

If being unorganized were a field day competition, I wouldn’t have had to compete because it would’ve been given as a superlative.

But today, it’s as if I’m participating in a field day I organized, complete with hurdles of misplaced keys, a sprint through the maze of unfolded laundry, and a high jump over the ever-growing pile of dishes.

My kids, three hurricanes of joy, mayhem, and (most importantly) love keep me running at full throttle from the break of dawn till I tuck them in bed.

A crumbly pile of laundry that I’ve washed three times in a row (thanks to my fantastic forgetfulness) is a constant in my life, while the motivation to walk our dogs for a mile usually crashes headfirst into my inability to make it up the stairs at night.

And let’s not get started on the state of my house, which looks like it’s under the command of three incredibly adorable but chaotic generals with a passion for all things messy.

But here’s the thing, to my unorganized, lazy moms (psst! that’s code for ‘real, loving, and compassionate mom’) – it’s okay.

It’s more than okay, actually.

It’s beautiful, it’s relatable, and most importantly, it’s human.

unorganized vs disorganized
For years, I realized the majority of my negative inner thoughts happened when doing chores, so I avoided both like the plague.

This post is all about being an unorganized, lazy mom.

In our fast-paced, often unrealistic society, the pressure to be a “perfect” mom is overwhelming.

There’s this invisible rulebook, attempting to dictate how we should manage our time, our children, and our homes.

But let me tell you this, there is no such thing as a perfect mom.

We are expected to be on 25/7, looking flawless, with the patience of Job, and an ever-ready smile.

Yet the reality is, I’m more likely to be seen hunting for my misplaced glasses than donning a perfectly coordinated outfit.

unorganized lazy mom
After three pregnancies, postpartum surgery, and several bouts. of allergies, the couch was my favorite spot in the house despite the looming pile of dishes watching me from the sink.

Unorganized vs. Disorganized Isn’t Really Tomato or Tomato

Let’s iron this out first: which is correct unorganized or disorganized?

When it comes to the unorganized vs. disorganized debate, it’s important to understand the distinction.

So, grab your metaphorical ironing board, and let’s smooth out the wrinkles in our understanding.

Being unorganized doesn’t mean we’re a chaotic mess with no sense of direction.

Being unorganized simply means that we have our own unique way of doing things.

Our systems may not fit into the neat little boxes society tries to squeeze us into, and that’s perfectly okay.

We dance to the beat of our own drum, creating beautiful symphonies of chaos and love.

Mom Life with Two Small Kids
Victoria Vaden // Day in the Life Vlog

On the other hand, being disorganized takes things a step further.

It’s like a tornado ripping through a paper factory – a true whirlwind of disorder.

But here’s the catch: being disorganized doesn’t define us as moms.

It’s just one small aspect of who we are.

We may have our moments of disarray, but it doesn’t overshadow the love, dedication, and laughter we bring to our families.

Being an unorganized, lazy mom doesn’t mean we’re lazy in our love or lazy in our dedication.

It means we prioritize what truly matters – the precious moments spent with our children, the laughter that echoes through our homes, and the love that fills every corner of our hearts.

We may not have everything perfectly in place, but we have something far more valuable – a deep connection with our family.

unorganized vs disorganized
Mommy brain is one thing, but add short-term memory loss on top of that, and it’s like losing my keys is a favorite pastime.

Where Did I Put My Car Keys Again?

Thanks to orthostatic hypotension, two head injuries, Attention Deficit Disorder, and short-term memory loss, even simple tasks become a marathon.

Unpacking a suitcase?

That’s a four-month project right there!

And dishes?

Those culinary remnants often form a ceramic and glass mountain range before I muster the energy to tackle them.

But hey, who’s in a rush, right?

unorganized lazy mom
My husband travels for work occasionally, and I’ve had to solo parent our kids and dogs for over a week, sometimes. In hindsight, this helped because I figured out how to manage everything alone; and gained an even deeper appreciation for my dear husband.

Rejecting the Supermom Myth

Being a mom, especially a mom like me, isn’t about being fastidious.

It’s about being there for your kids, teaching them that it’s okay to make a mess, that it’s okay to be slow, and that it’s okay to be human.

So what if we spend a little extra time on the same old tasks?

So what if the dog doesn’t get a marathon walk every day?

So what if the dishes pile up?

We’re not here to win a cleanliness competition.

We’re here to raise compassionate, patient, and resilient kids.

And how can we do that if we’re constantly stressing about our “perfection”?

We can’t. So, we won’t.

We will embrace our unique pace, cherish our individual journeys, and teach our children to do the same.

Each spilled glass of milk, each misplaced toy, and each scattered crayon is an opportunity – a MOMent to teach our kids about responsibility, compassion, patience, and most importantly, love.

Our children are just exploring their world, practicing their sense of touch, learning how to clean up, and learning how to be human.

And that’s beautiful.

There’s no need to be hard on ourselves just because society has set an impossible standard.

unorganized vs disorganized
My husband has been the sweetest person, because, despite my postpartum woes, uncleanliness, etc., he never judged or blamed me. Instead, he picked up my slack until I was able to do it myself. And we still divide chores evenly. I couldn’t have asked for a better spouse.

Laughing Off the Kitchen Disasters

You know the phrase: “Don’t cry over spilled milk.”

Here’s the thing – spilled milk is just a tiny drop in the vast ocean of MOMents we navigate each day.

It’s a reminder that life is unpredictable, and our kids are little tornadoes of curiosity and joy.

So, instead of shedding tears over that white puddle, let’s choose laughter.

Let’s take a deep breath, grab a paper towel, and revel in the spilled milk MOMents that make our lives uniquely imperfect.

Because it’s in these moments that memories are made, bonds are strengthened, and our love as moms shine through.

unorganized vs disorganized
Being a mom of three, I didn’t want to pass on the “laziness” to my kids that living like this was okay…and it was rocky at times, so I decided to just hire a maid service.

Multitasking Mayhem of Mismatched Socks

Let’s normalize being a “lazy mom”.

Let’s celebrate being an “unorganized mom”.

Let’s realize that these words only lead to unorganized thoughts and a ton of self-doubt.

They don’t reflect on our love for our children, but rather on our ability to love ourselves despite the demands of an overbearing society.

We won’t allow the pressure to keep a picture-perfect house to drain our joy.

A little mess never hurt anyone, but stress?

That’s a different story.

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to let stress steal my happiness or, worse, rob my health.

So here’s to embracing our beautifully chaotic lives, our lazy mom moments, and our unorganized mom days.

unorganized lazy mom
I’m lightyears better than I was, but I’m grateful my kids are witnessing a work in progress to hopefully teach them what it looks like to persevere and a sense of responsibility.

This post was all about being unorganized.

You, the mom who hates cleaning, I see you.

I am you.

And let me tell you – you’re doing a fantastic job.

So let’s continue on this wonderfully messy journey together, embracing each moment, cherishing each memory, and creating an environment of love, acceptance, and growth for our little ones.

  • “Surviving the Tornado: Managing Life with Active Kids and a Lazy Dog”
  • “The Perpetual Laundry Cycle: An Unorganized Mom’s Guide to Survival”
  • “Embracing the Unfinished To-Do List: A Lazy Mom’s Journey to Self-Acceptance”

To follow more of my wonderfully unorganized adventures, or to find comfort in our shared lazy mom moments, come join me on Instagram.

I promise there’s a lot more spilled milk, piles of laundry, and, most importantly, lots of love, joy, and real-life MOMents.

You are not alone.

So here’s to us, the perfectly imperfect moms, embracing life one spilled milk MOMent at a time.

Stay tuned, stay messy, and stay real!

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victoria vaden

a diaper duties mom blog


victoria vaden king

Victoria Vaden

Original YouTuber when ‘viral’ was just a flu symptom. My English degree qualified me to tell stories (the good kind). So, I'm sharing the not-so-normal reality of motherhood and marriage.

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DYEM is for the not-so-perfect, spit-up-stained, smile-through-anything moms out there looking for sanity. Motherhood is messy and full of mistakes. You'll find plenty of that here.

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