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11 Not So Obvious Things to Know Before Getting Married

by victoriavadenking
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things to know before getting married

Are you thinking about getting married?

If so, it’s important to take the time to get answers to not-so-obvious things to know before getting married.

You’ll thank me later.

What are your expectations for marriage?

What kind of relationship do you want with your spouse?

These are just a few of the questions that you should consider before tying the knot.

Marriage is a big commitment, and it’s most important is making sure you’re on the same page with your partner when it comes to key issues.

Get your notebook out!

I’m giving you a free checklist before marriage.

This post is all about things to know before getting married.

things to know before getting married

1. How Important Is Religion to You?

It is likely that you and your fiancée come from different religious backgrounds.

It is therefore good that you establish if each of you is going to pursue their religious affiliations.

This is to help you avoid conflict over religious traditions, especially when children are added to the mix.

You should ask and discuss how you will celebrate religious holidays and key milestone ceremonies like death.

2. How much Would Be Willing to Spend on Assets?

You have to ensure that you are on the same page regarding financial matters.

Are you both risk-takers or risk-averse or different?

It is very important that you agree on spending habits, how to save, and plan for your retirement.

You should also speak about the lifestyle you want and how you will cater to it.

things to know before getting married

3. What Is the Role of The In-Laws in Our Lives?

The health of our relationship is somewhat dependent on how manageable the relationship with in-laws is.

You have to be very deliberate, and present a united front when dealing with this issue, especially as you create a family.

Therefore, it would be best if you both discuss this question to agree on how you will deal with your parents and other family members.

4. How Important Is Sex to You?

A healthy relationship or marriage involves discussing what your partner enjoys about sex and how often they expect it.

People have different expectations, especially when it comes to sex, and therefore, you have to find out if your partner and you have different views about sex.

The aim is to ensure that both partners remain satisfied.

5. Do You Understand the Ways I Say ‘I Love You?’

People use different love languages to communicate that they love one another.

These love languages are the use of gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, or even physical touch.

You will need to discuss and discover what each other’s primary love language is.

This helps you nurture your marriage in a specific way for you and your loved one and it helps you to better understand them and why they behave in certain ways.

things to know before getting married

6. How Do You See As 10 Years from Now?

As strange as this question may be, it’s beneficial in knowing how to deal with your current conflict and work towards your ultimate relationship goals.

This discussion will help you realize whether the other person is in for the long haul or is expecting to run if the relationship does not grow to health standards or experiences major setbacks.

7. Whose Opinion Do You Value Most?

When you ask this question, your aim is to know who influences your partner’s decision-making and views.

Most times people see themselves as independent others who can make up their own minds.

However, other people can determine our decisions.

Try to have an honest relationship and get to learn how they think so that you have a good understanding of how they think and where they go for a second opinion.

8. Who Did What in Your Home Growing up?

This is particularly helpful, especially when identifying their view on relationship responsibilities.

It also sheds more light on how the two of you can manage the day-to-day activities of your home together.

How you were brought up and viewed your parents doing things might affect your partner’s expectations.

For example, if you grew up seeing your dad taking care of the lawn, you most likely expect your husband to do the same.

things to know before getting married

9. How Do You Feel About Couples Therapy?

The two of you should find out how you feel about therapy.

This is because therapy is essential for growth.

Due to this reason, you should be able to find out the different viewpoints you have toward therapy.

Therapists create a safe environment where you can become a stronger team.

Besides that, they can help resolve conflicts and point out the red flags and behaviors that could be steering you towards a significant conflict or causing marriage problems.

10. Do You Want Kids?

You need to know whether your partner wants to have kids without any certainty.

If you have disagreements on this, you may want to rethink the relationship or even decide to marry.

This is especially if you have a strong desire to have kids and they have a strong stand against it.

This significant life decision can sometimes lead to resentment or anger.

11. What Are Your Deal Breakers?

For some people, having sex with others is a dealbreaker for them in marriage, while others consider it part of an open marriage.

Whatever your deal breakers could be, your partner needs to know about them.

It doesn’t need to be obvious like infidelity, but it could be something as small as chatting with your ex.

Irrespective of it, you must make your partner aware of it before marriage.

things to know before getting married

This post was all about things to know before getting married.

Asking your partner these questions before you tie the knot is essential for a successful marriage.

Remember that going into marriage with a better understanding of your partner and expectations gives you an edge in ensuring that you have an easy time adjusting to each other.

Getting married is about building a life together.

Therefore, creating a foundation made of honesty, trust, friendship, and shared values requires that you ask the right questions before you get married.

Good luck!

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victoria vaden

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victoria vaden king

Victoria Vaden

Original YouTuber when ‘viral’ was just a flu symptom. My English degree qualified me to tell stories (the good kind). So, I'm sharing the not-so-normal reality of motherhood and marriage.

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DYEM is for the not-so-perfect, spit-up-stained, smile-through-anything moms out there looking for sanity. Motherhood is messy and full of mistakes. You'll find plenty of that here.

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