As an independent woman, you may not be used to submitting to anyone, and you may not even feel like you need to submit to your husband.
But in a marriage, it’s important to submit to your husband as the leader of the household.
Submission is also vital to keeping the peace and creating a healthy relationship dynamic.
In this post, I will be giving you tips on how you can submit to your husband as an independent woman and do it without sacrificing your independence.
This post is all about how to submit to your husband.
1. Let Go of Control
As an independent woman, you are probably used to being in control of every aspect of your life.
However, when in marriage, this cannot work.
In marriage, have an open mind and accept that things cannot always go the way you want them to.
Wanting to be in control while in marriage will only result in you two butting heads and having conflict.
One way in which you can let go of control is by not trying to dictate how your husband’s life should be.
Accept that your husband is his own person and that you do not have control over any aspect of his life.
Another way of giving up control and being able to submit to your husband is to let him take the lead in decision-making on matters concerning your marriage.
2. Do Not Try to Actively Undermine His Authority
Actively trying to undermine your husband’s authority is challenging his position as the head of your marriage.
It can also be frustrating for him if you constantly try to undermine his authority.
Undermining his authority can be things such as constantly challenging his decisions or going against his will.
When you constantly challenge his decisions, it makes him feel inadequate.
It also might communicate that you do not trust or respect him.
He could also feel as though you do not view him as competent enough to exercise authority over you.
Choosing to be married means that you also submit and agree to live under your husband’s authority.
For that reason, it is important to accept that he has authority as a form of submission.
3. Be Receptive
Being receptive shows that you are open to receiving things from him.
This could come in various forms, such as knowledge, help, and even gifts.
Do not try to fight or make him feel bad when he does things for you.
Instead, accept what he is offering with grace and appreciation.
4. Communicate Clearly
Submission can be hard if you do not feel safe, seen, or heard in your marriage.
This is why you must communicate your wants and needs. Trust me, that is easier said than done.
It took my husband and me a few years when we first married before I felt comfortable fully opening up to him where I truly felt heard.
This will open a space where you can speak freely and be heard.
It will also enable him to know what you expect of him as your husband.
Once he fulfills his part as your husband, it’ll be easier to submit to your husband as you will not be harboring resentment.
And hopefully, your husband will do the same and keep you accountable when he needs to communicate his wants, needs, hopes, and fears.
5. Ask Him for Help
Another way of being submissive as an independent woman is learning to ask your husband for help.
Men love to feel useful and needed.
Therefore, you ask for help makes him feel as though he is valuable to you.
You can ask for help with things such as running errands or asking him to pick you up from the airport.
This was another issue for me when I began to submit to my husband because I was extremely independent.
When I lost my job, not once, but three times, I had no choice but to rely on my husband, especially because I was pregnant at the time and couldn’t physically do things on my own anymore.
6. Be Vulnerable
Most independent women always have their guard up.
They do not see the value of opening up to people because they are mostly self-sufficient.
However, it is counterproductive to have your guard up if you are trying to be more submissive.
Open up to your husband so that he, too, can open up to you.
This process of open communication is important as it helps you understand what their idea of your submission looks like.
Understanding what he expects will help you know which areas you need to submit in.
7. Ask for His Guidance
When about to make decisions, always ask for his guidance.
Asking for his guidance could be on issues such as buying electronics or car repair.
You can also ask for his advice when making decisions about your career or friendships.
Ask for his guidance whenever you are stuck.
This will make him feel needed and appreciated, and it will also show him that you recognize and appreciate his leadership skills.
Again, this in turn will hopefully allow your husband to do the same with you.
Just because you submit to your husband does not mean that he can’t come to you as his trusted support.
I remember when my husband wouldn’t ask for my advice when we first married, or when I gave it, he would almost fact-check with his friends before going along with what I stated in the beginning.
That made me feel absolutely terrible, but several years later, I’m his first option for guidance when he seeks it and it has significantly strengthened our marriage and friendship.
8. Do Not Compete with Him
Although you are a successful independent woman, do not try to compete with your husband or compare your achievements to his.
By competing you do not allow him to be the head of your house.
One key area that you should not compete in is how much you each earn.
Whether a man admits it or not, most men feel less than if they are not the breadwinners.
To no fault of a man, it’s literally in their DNA to provide.
Even if you don’t agree (and trust me, I see both sides of the table on this one), it is so much easier to avoid competition.
In marriage, you can have healthy competition in other aspects.
But because money is the number one reason for divorce, do yourselves a favor and leave this competition out of your marriage.
9. Support Him
Submission can also be achieved through you supporting your husband.
Support his ambitions.
Support his dreams and goals.
And most importantly, be supportive of his decisions.
They say that behind every successful husband is a supportive wife.
Support should be a pillar in your marriage for both of you.
There is nothing greater to strengthen the friendship within your marriage than being a cheerleader for your spouse.
When you support your husband, not only will he support you, but you both grow closer to each other and the dreams you set out for your lives individually and collectively as a married couple.
10. Let Your Husband Provide
Men are programmed to want to provide for the women they love.
You can be submissive by letting him provide for you to the best of his ability.
Let him provide material things or even intangibles such as protection and reassurance.
It is good to help him to provide for both of you.
However, only do so when he wants your help.
Even if you earn more than your husband, it is important to let your husband stay in his role by providing for you.
This post was about how to submit to your husband.
Let me conclude by saying that submission is not a destination.
It is a journey that only gets better as you practice it more.
Improve your submission by practicing every day with the little things so that you become better with the more major things.
It comes more naturally with practice and patience, so be patient with yourself as you undertake this submission journey.
Start implementing these tips into your life so that you become happier and enjoy your marriage.
In the process, you will also maintain your independence.
Remember submission is sexy! If you’d like to follow our journey to see what we do behind the scenes, connect with us on Instagram.