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What No One Tells You About Postpartum Sex

by victoriavadenking
Published: Last Updated on 6 mins read

You’ve been told all there is to know about breastfeeding, helping your baby to latch, diaper rash, leaky boobs, getting rest, and training yourself to understand different baby cries.

But nothing, absolutely zilch, about having sex postpartum.

You’re six weeks postpartum, and you got the all-clear to have sex. Now what?

If you’re a new mom, you’re probably excited, scared, freaked out, or anxious about postpartum sex.

Even after your doctor says you’re ready, you must consider everything that comes with postpartum sex.

If you’ve got no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry.

I’ve done all the heavy lifting, so you don’t have to. 

This post is all about postpartum sex.

postpartum sex

You’re ready, but you’re just not into it

It’s not uncommon for new moms to feel out of “the zone.” You probably have other things to think about or do.

You’ve barely had enough sleep, have body image issues, or need to understand the changing dynamic between you and your partner.

Other than that, the increased levels of oxytocin in your body are working against you.

If you’re not into sex just yet, don’t worry because it isn’t your fault.

Your low libido might be low thanks to oxytocin and is your body’s way of telling you it’s not ready for another pregnancy yet.

You might or might not experience some level of pain

Whether you’ve had a vaginal birth or a C-section, some pain or discomfort is expected during postpartum sex.

The discomfort or pain is often caused by vaginal dryness due to the hormones in your body.

You can have low estrogen levels up to two months postpartum.

La Leche League

Breastfeeding can also extend the amount of time you experience low levels of estrogen, which can lead to tenderness, dryness, and tightness.

If you experience this, you can try using a lubricant during sex.

Remember to take it slow.

Your boobs might be a no-go zone

With all your baby’s feeding, you might not want anyone else to touch your boobs and feel ‘all touched out.’

Don’t blame yourself if you’re not ready for your partner to touch or give them attention.

The important thing is to recognize the signals your body gives you. 

Speaking of boobs, don’t get shocked if your boobs start leaking during sex or spraying milk all over during orgasm.

It happens to the best of us and is only an indicator that you’re aroused.

You’ll get used to it despite the extra cleaning you must do afterward. 

There’s a chance sex could be better

Most people expect that having sex postpartum will be nothing to write home about.

However, it would be best to remember that you and your partner have gone through an intense experience.

And, when you’re both spending time bonding with the baby, this can unlock a new level of intimacy. 

You might notice that you’re both very intentional about lovemaking and that the act is more passionate.

Additionally, if you’re co-sleeping with the baby, you might want to get a little more creative about where or how you’re having sex.

Don’t be surprised if the sensations feel much stronger or if some positions feel much better.

Your body has changed, so embrace the changes.

You might become the goddess of the quickie

Even if you typically prefer to enjoy some foreplay before sex, you might find yourself embracing the quickie or indulging often.

Timing will always be a limiting factor where a newborn is involved.

You never know when they will wake up, or get hungry, so if you wait for the perfect time to get frisky, you might get some disappointments.

The dry spell is temporary

It’s ok to say ‘no’ if you’re not into it. That doesn’t mean that you don’t love your partner anymore.

If you’re still in recovery physically, emotionally, and psychologically from facilitating the birth of a human soul, that’s ok!

Even if you’re tired and have no drive, give yourself a little time.

Things will get better, and if you feel like your partner should be able to enjoy solo sex, power to you!

sex after giving birth

You can still give and receive oral sex

The traditional definition of sex might not apply to you or your relationship right now, and that’s ok.

You can give your partner oral sex if you want to, or if you’re not ready for vaginal intercourse.

People who had tears will tell you how much oral sex helped them ease back into traditional intercourse.

If you’re into it, your partner will enjoy it, and so will you.

Make sure you communicate with your partner about what you feel is comfortable for you.

You might get sexually stimulated by breastfeeding

While there’s nothing sexual about breastfeeding, the hormone Oxytocin that’s released during breastfeeding, is the same one released during orgasm.

As a result, it’s not odd that you would experience arousal during breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding also encourages muscle contractions of your uterus and is responsible for consequent orgasmic responses. 

However, just because you get aroused during breastfeeding doesn’t mean you’re developing sexual feelings for your baby.

It only means that you are aware of your body’s responses to releasing Oxytocin. 

Postpartum sex is important

The truth is that once the baby is here, you and your partner won’t be able to enjoy as much time together as you’d like.

You don’t have much time for elaborate dates or enjoy time with each other without the constant reminder that a little person requires your attention.

If you can create time for physical intimacy, go ahead and do it.

It gives you and your partner a chance to remember that you love each other and are on the same team. 

sex after giving birth

This post was all about sex after giving birth.

All said and done, postpartum sex has its advantages and drawbacks.

Sometimes you will not want it, and there are times you will enjoy it.

Know that the downsides will not last so embrace all the good times as much as you can!

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