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How (and Why) You Should Date Yourself Before You Get Married

by victoriavadenking
Published: Last Updated on 7 mins read

When you learn to date yourself, you put yourself on the path to understanding who you are or need in a potential partner. If it’s that easy, why don’t we do it more often?

 Society pressures us to run with the idea that “Marriage will make me whole.”

There are so many things wrong with this statement. The idea that marriage can cure us of our shortcomings, self-doubt, and lack of self-worth could not be further from the truth.

A successful marriage is built by two individuals that have an innate knowledge of themselves. 

While trust, open communication, and honesty are the foundation of a healthy partnership, the glue that holds all these aspects together is an undeniable understanding of ourselves. As a result, self-development is critical.

The truth is that marriage is a beautiful fusion of two souls. 

However, the love these two souls share isn’t enough to hold down the marriage if they don’t grow and evolve together.

This is why it’s important to date yourself before you get married.

This post is all about why you should date yourself.

date yourself

1. Get to know your passions and interests

Remember when we said there was something wrong with the belief that marriage will complete you or quench all areas of your life where you lack?

Marriage is an excellent remedy for romantic love and companionship.

However, you have to water your passions and interests if there’s a chance you will continue to grow into who you’re meant to be. 

By dating yourself before you marry, you understand precisely what you need to do to find fulfillment.

The truth is that finding out what you’re passionate about before you get married will be important later on in your marriage.

Rather than only having your man to turn to, you can find comfort in your friendships, hobbies, and interests.

When you have these things before you get married, they can turn into a source of joy for you when you’re married.

date yourself

2. You don’t feel like you need someone to be complete

People underestimate the freedom that comes with dating yourself.

It’s during this process that you understand how whole you can be on your own.

Part of becoming a healthy individual relies on believing and trusting in yourself as a whole rather than as a small piece of a puzzle.

When you don’t feel complete, you can end up in the arms of someone who might not be suitable for you.

The more you date yourself and learn things that no one can help you see, the more chances you have to live a happy, healthy, and full life even when you’re married.

date yourself

3. You have enough time to think about what you want in a spouse

While dating yourself, there’s bound to be lots of self-discovery happening.

This is the time you discover who you are as a person and the qualities you would need from a potential suitor or partner.

You can take a deep dive and list the qualities you desire so that you’ve got something that will guide you to the right path when the wrong person comes up. 

date yourself

4. You’re less likely to get into an abusive relationship and have a strong sense of independence

When you date yourself, you learn to be happy with who you are.

You can avoid the desperation that plagues many people when all they want is to feel needed, loved, and wanted by other people.

Unfortunately, abusive people, including narcissists, know how to attract people that are desperate for attention.

When you’re happy with who you are, you’re not looking to date anyone that comes along. Knowing your worth and who you are will also help you to leave a bad situation if you ever find yourself in one. 

You do not depend on anyone else to fulfill you or make you happy; you can achieve all your heart’s desires.

You’re comfortable with going on adventures on your own and can take advantage of all the opportunities that present themselves to you.

You’re not looking for anyone’s willingness to accompany you or their approval, because you have got everything under control and can go on your own if need be.

date yourself

5. You’re ok with the time you’ve spent on your own and aren’t bothered by sharing it with someone else

When you’re focused on yourself, you fill up your time with the people you love and the things you enjoy.

By the time you’re getting married, you will have no regrets about not spending more time doing the things you love.

Once the right person comes along, you’re ready to let them into your life and be part of the beautiful life you’ve already created for yourself.

date yourself

6. You create a more positive relationship with yourself

The truth is that making a marriage work is not easy work, and you can get lost in a marriage if you don’t take care of yourself.

It’s not unheard of to hear married people say they don’t know themselves anymore.

Most times, the reason for this is that people allowed themselves to conform to the interests and personalities of their partners rather than stay true to who they are. 

When you date yourself before you get married, you learn to accept and appreciate the person you are and strive to improve every aspect of your life.

Keeping up this constant relationship with yourself is a constant reminder of who you are and who you should fall back on during your marriage. 

While dating yourself, you have the opportunity to find out who you are without the influence of marriage or other people.

You can embrace that person as they are before you get married.

Knowing who you are as an individual will help you to learn how to navigate the trickier parts of marriage later on. 

date yourself

This post was all about dating yourself.

While marriage is good, rushing into things without a bit of self-discovery is not ok. 

Building your self-worth and working on your self-development are all aspects of a whole individual that’s ready to welcome someone else into their life.

Without this, marriage can feel like a black hole. While you still have time for yourself, go on and focus on the most important things.

Chances are that they will help you later and guide you into saving your marriage even before it starts.

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